I got a job in the Caledonian and at the same time the Balmoral as I needed to work for a few months as I was running for money and claiming the sick so I worked in both the Caledonian Hotel and worked in the Banquets where I met really nice girls who I was able to pull as I claimed to bed doing a student placement In banqueting which I new wanted to do as I dint get paid as was the practice with students so I organised my self with what placements I wanted to get the money I wanted and I changed my names hoping I didn't get caught so that I would hope they would miss it and not notice what I was doing. It was funny working in these hotels as people do things like in the KP office would wank on to the bosses desk as well as leaving a handprint on where they leaned to wank off. There was another KP who would eat all the half eaten steaks he got to wash the plates and this we guy I don't know what he was doing but he was accused of writing Shit is good on the staff toilet wall he said he didn't do it and was making a complaint so I said to these  girls who were cleaners I said to them "We should all pretend we don't believe he done it". He got the sack.

Have you ever noticed skin doesn't form on coffee any more and I don't think there's much caffeine in them as drugs made up of 37 espressos of coffee in a pill but I can drink 5 before bed and I don't stay awake at all even though my medicine is inert

There was this beggar in Edinburgh and I threw what looked like a pound coin as I walked with a beautiful gal and it was a frank worth about ten pence and he shouted all the obscenities under the sun and threw it at me.

There was a philosophy spouted at first by fungus and that was "there are three things that create a good night and that is to get drunk, get into a fight and pull a bird, and all three is a great night.