My maters dark is worse than her Bark as  when I started getting to tough to be controlled by her I would say she used to beat me with a belt until she reminded me that I had a selective memory with this as she tried to hit med once with a dog lead and I hid under the covers and would stick my head out of the covers and laugh at her before hiding and I was able to kick at her to show her I was too tough to handle. The only other time I remembering her was when I was making her angry and she was livid with rage and I went to get the dog and she charged at me and was so angry. I made out there was loads of time like this but the truth out that's all I can remember as I don't remember anything other than this and in frustration she told me about this which I can remember and I think that's quite good as she was as I remember a good mum who had problems with PMS aka PMT so I think she did quite well considering she was at the time a single mother with 4 of us and we were always fighting with each other even though I always one cause I was the oldest as they seemed to be pissed off that I got the better when obviously the eldest is going to do best and usually I won.

I had a wicked streak as I think it was because there was a guy in our family who is now dead because he was murdered  for being the type of person he was who liked to hurt children on the sly but as I grew up and got work on a boat i was young but I now know it wasn't right what I did as I used to slice Dog Sharks fins off and we rarely kept Dog Sharks as if we did you could only get a couple of quid for a basket and I would just throw them back and I am ashamed of this but I can only change the future. And another thing I did that was cruel as me and my mates would stay in a town next to a town called Fortrose that was a Royal Burgh and we stayed in a place called wester links where we got jars and caught wasps, bee's and Hornets and filled the jar with them and shook it about as they would fight and we would leave them to suffocate. It was really evil and I stopped that when a guy said when I caught a wasp and made it fight ants and this guy sad "you better not hope you come back as that bee" I killed it straight away and never done it again and now I don't kill anything even if things like flies want me too to go to a 3 month nuclear war in the dream realities and I would be getting what I deserve what I get if I have to come back as these animals I did that with. Now I don't like hurting anything.  

There are nurses that happen to be black in Carstairs who incidentally happen to be black as well as a patient who is white who would say things like "You seem, awfully quite what's wrong with you" which I would take their Fonzes then as I thought I could react in a way that made me feel better and and I said to one his name a few times as I pretended I was talking to random people or dint realise he could hear me but he acted hard as though saying he was going to do me if I took his Fonze so I thought I had to test him to see as he might be been harder that me but I wanted to see and I told a few people that this guy I talked of was the dawn of hard in his presence which mean the hard on in his presence and this female nurse would say to me "why are you so Grumpy" trying to annoy me so I would ignore her. And this guy would say things like "what's the matter with you" always said when you were in a good mood to annoy you and this guy said to me "why are you not going to the gym, you must be feeling weak" to which I said "I go to the gym every second day to feel strong as the gym damages muscle so you have to rest it to be feeling strong" These people are fannies and I always get them back although I never tell them they are not in my gang and if they want to be in cults it up to them and now I never take away their fonze. These days now.