My grandfather created a ten year plan when he was 60 and he died at 63 when he expected to live till 65 and he made a 10 year plan for my Gran but she lived till she was 88 or more.


When I was 12 my mother was away on a business course and  me and my brother went to my Gran and grandpa and we had comics and my brother put his tea cup on my comic that left a ring and I was angry as I collected these comics so my grandfather got angry as I then got angry at him and told him we all hated him and he was all I talked about so he took us both home and never let us stay again which was bad so I never told him I was sorry and that was my regret.


At may grandfathers funeral my younger sister and then my older sister then younger brother not butch as I don't think he was allowed to go as he was to young, we all sat there then one by one we all started crying in the order I described. I had cried on a bus as I wanted to get to my girlfriend as I was unhappy and she came to the door and gave me a big hug. Years later I read something in the cottage my sister had written  which talked of feeling numb which I thought was a applicable to me.

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