There's these boxes that are in hotels like hog Kong where business men stay for the night when they have worked to late and cant get home.

You know when you have learnt a lot of psychology when you read the same stuff again.

I was in the Gilshie Road flats  in Mary hill when this older guy was cycling past me and I threw a spear at him and it went into his spokes and he went over the handle bars and he kicked me in so hard I shit myself. I wont be doing that again in a hurry.

There was this guy on TV who had hundreds of different names and he was in a pub  and he was boasting of what he had got from rifling bins.

When I was a kid me and my bruar used to play in a gardening yard at about 5 which would never be allowed and I was alright but my bruar nearly burst his voice box and needed glasses as he fell on a slab and damaged his eyes and nearly went blind as we played on slabs. I remember when I was young this employee of my Grandfathers stood on my Christmas tree and I said "get your bloody foot of my clistmas tree and another time I was in a tractor pulling leavers and the barrel fell down and crushed a mini and the owners wanted the yard to pay but it was caveat emptor as it was his land so the drivers insurance had to cover it. Fond memories.

My mate used to say "Its all free to me" which is true as he got free money housing water rates council tax and he got gear on tick.

The most accidents on a motorway occur on the hard shoulder.

The reason blondes have more fun is because they have higher oestrogen which makes their hair that colour and makes them easier to get pregnant.